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Tonight at dinner, my four year old son turned to me and said "I know what God looks like."

"OK" I said "what does he look like?"

He responded "He has black skin and blue eyes, he wears shorts and a t-shirt, and he has three hairs on his head like Homer Simpson."

Why not?

My wife won't throw anything away - it's something that drives me nuts. Last week she put together several boxes of my son's clothes that he has outgrown to send to my sister-in-law in the United Kingdom. She's been on me about this for the past few days so in the midst of a crazy day (painter upstairs working, one child having a playdate and the other nagging me about playing Xbox) I managed to slap some labels on them and get them to the post office.

At dinner that night I mentioned to her that I sent out the three boxes. She turned to me and said "Three boxes? There were only two."

Apparently our monthly shipment of several pounds of Dunkin' Donuts coffee is now on its way to England because the box was stacked next to the clothes boxes.

Wonderful. Hope those tea-drinkers enjoy it.

I'm thinking of writing a book.

I'm going to call it "Marquis de S.A.H.D. - The Times and Tribulations of a Stay at home Dad".

Too wordy?

Too bad.

I might as well just give up right now.

This is Dennis Quaid at 53 years old.



I'm 44 and look more like Randy Quaid.

Oh well, at least he's looks like he's doing better than his ex-wife Meg Ryan. Have you seen her lately?



Christ almighty! Leave some Botox for the rest of us!

He put a Tic Tac up his nose, get over it.

Dropped off the boy at Nursery School the other day. While waiting for the door to the classroom to open, one of the mothers started screaming frantically at her son "BLOW IT OUT! BLOW IT OUT!". To which the kid replied by laughing hysterically and freaking out his mom even more. Apparently he shoved a Tic Tac up his nose. After much unnecessary drama, the situation resolved itself and the breath mint ended up sailing across the hallway. The mother then made it a point to tell anyone in earshot that the boy's cousin had recently shoved a trackball from a mouse up his nose which had to be extricated by elaborate means.

Something in that family just ain't right.